Mother’s Day is a time to stop and honor the women in our lives and our past…our mothers, grandmothers, and the many generations before them. For those of us who love family history, it’s also a perfect chance to look a little closer at the lives of the women in our family tree.
When building those trees, we often focus on male ancestors because men generated the most records. But the women deserve just as much attention.
Let’s talk about how you can find their stories and celebrate them this Mother’s Day.
Why It’s Harder to Trace Women
Women are often the most difficult ancestors to research. Their names change. They may not appear in land records or military files. Sometimes, they aren’t even listed by name in early census records, just as “female, age 30-40.”
That doesn’t mean their stories are lost. It just means we have to look a little harder and perhaps, in different places.
Here are a few suggestions to start:
- Marriage records. These can give you maiden names, ages, and sometimes the names of the bride’s parents.
- Obituaries. They often list surviving family members and sometimes include a woman’s maiden name or family background.
- Church records. Baptisms, confirmations, and church membership rolls often include women.
- Newspapers. Births, weddings, community events, and even social columns can mention the women in your family tree.
Don’t Forget the Photos
If you’re lucky enough to have old family photos, this is the perfect time to review them. Ask relatives if they know the people in the photos. Try not to write on the back, but if you must, lightly in pencil. Never use a pen! Make sure to make digital scans to preserve them.
Look at the faces, the clothes, and the way they held their children or stood proudly in their kitchens or yards. These women were the heart of the home, the memory keepers, the quiet strength behind the scenes.
Focus On One Ancestor
Choose one mother in your tree to focus on. Maybe it’s your great-grandmother. Maybe it’s someone you’ve never researched before.
Start with what you know:
- Her full name (including maiden name, if possible)
- Her birth and death dates
- Where she lived
- Her children’s names
Then go a step further. Find her in the census. See if you can locate her in every census in her lifetime. Look for her obituary. Ask relatives if they remember anything about her. Did she bake a special pie? Was she strict? Did she work outside the home or raise a house full of children?
Write it down. Even a short paragraph can keep her memory alive. Sometimes, simply writing helps unlock more stories from your mind. Let them out and put them on paper.
Tell the Stories—Even the Hard Ones
Motherhood looks different in every family. Some mothers struggled, while others left. Some passed away at a young age. And still others raised children who weren’t their own.
These are important stories to tell.
You don’t need to judge or gloss over the hard parts. Just record what happened. A woman’s story is not only in what she did, but in what she faced. And sometimes, in what she survived.
Creative Ways to Celebrate
If you’re looking for a special way to honor the women in your family tree this Mother’s Day, here are some ideas:
Create a “Mothers of My Tree” photo collage. Include photos, names, and birth-death years. Frame it or share it online. Here’s a simple one I did in Canva:
Make a recipe book. Gather old family recipes from the women in your family. Add photos or memories with each one. My dad’s aunt was a wonderful cook, so he actually put a book together of their recipes. Check it out: A Taste Of The Past and A Taste Of The Past 2.
Write a letter. Choose one maternal ancestor and write her a letter. Tell her what you’ve learned about her and how her legacy lives on.
Make a timeline. Use a simple template to show a woman’s life year by year. Add major events, places she lived, children’s births, and historical context.
Share a story on social media. Use the day as a reason to post a short tribute to a woman in your family tree. Invite others to do the same.
Anything you can do to keep their memory alive is worth doing!
A Personal Note
In my research, I’ve found that some of the most moving stories come from women. My grandmother (pictured at the top of this post holding my mom) lost her father when she was only 9 months old. My 3x great-grandmother lost her husband and moved the family from Illinois to Pennsylvania. She worked as the matron of the alms house and the orphanage, and lived to be 93 years old.
These aren’t just names on a family tree. These are women who lived and loved and shaped the generations that came after them.
Passing It On
If you have children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews, tell them about the women in your family tree. Share their photos. Say their names. Tell their stories at the dinner table.
Even a few words like “Your great-grandma loved lilacs” or “Your great-great-grandmother came to America on a ship when she was just 12” can spark their curiosity.
Anything we can do to get the next generation to take an interest in family history is a plus. Mother’s Day is a beautiful moment to connect the past with the present.
Finally
It’s easy to get caught up in searching for records, building trees, and finding the next piece of the puzzle. But this Mother’s Day, take a breath. Think about the women behind those facts and dates.
Honor them by learning their stories. Share what you find. Keep their memories alive.
They were more than just “wife of” or “mother of.” They were real, complex women, just like the mothers we know today. And they deserve to be remembered.
Want more help finding the women in your family tree?
I’ve written a few blog posts that may help: Proven Strategies For Finding Females In Your Genealogy Research and How To Discover Wives In Genealogy Research. Check them out along with the Library of Congress Guide to Finding Females.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Genealogy tip: If you want to find out more about your maternal line, order a mitochondrial DNA test (mtDNA). You can buy the kit at FamilyTreeDNA. This test will only look at your mother’s mother’s mother’s (etc.) line. They can sometimes help break down brick walls. And, since mitochondria are passed from mothers to all their children (men and women), anyone can take the test.
If you’re having trouble finding the females in your family tree, click below. I’d love to talk with you about your latest project.
