The holiday season is a perfect time for family stories. Loved ones come together, sharing meals and memories. If you’re researching your family history, talking to older relatives is a great place to start. They have stories, traditions, and details that may not be written anywhere else. It’s up to you to capture them.
In this blog post, you’ll find tips to guide these conversations, what questions to ask, how to record their answers, and what to do with the information afterward.
Doing genealogy isn’t all wrapped up in a computer or a library. Many details of your family’s past can be discovered just by asking older relatives. Talk to them! They lived through historic events and have many stories to tell. So grab your phone or tape recorder and get started!
Why Talking to Older Relatives is Important
Older family members often have memories and knowledge that can fill in the blanks of your family tree. They might know details about names, places, and events that you won’t find in records. These conversations can also reveal personal stories that bring your ancestors to life.
Make the most of this opportunity by preparing ahead of time. Think about the questions you want to ask and how you’ll record their answers.
Questions to Ask Older Relatives
Start with open-ended questions. You don’t want to ask anything that will only give you a Yes/No answer. These allow your relative to talk freely, which may uncover unexpected stories. Here are some ideas:
- What is your earliest memory?
- Can you tell me about the house you grew up in?
- What were your parents like?
- Do you know how our family came to live in this area?
- What family traditions did you have growing up?
- Do you remember any stories about our ancestors?
- Can you tell me about your school days?
- What was your first job?
- Did you serve in the military or know someone in the family who did?
- What holidays were the most special to you, and why?
- Are there any family recipes or heirlooms with a story behind them?
- What big events in history do you remember living through?
- Are there any old family photos you can show me?
- Do you know where our family name comes from?
- Where did you and grandma/grandpa meet?
These are just the tip of the iceberg. What questions can you come up with that will add to your family’s story? You’ll find more question ideas in my post, Why It’s Important To Ask Different Genealogy Research Questions.
How to Record These Conversations
Recording these conversations is important. You want to capture the details accurately and preserve their voice for the future. Here are a few easy ways to do this:
- Use your smartphone. Most smartphones have a built-in voice recorder app. These are easy to use and reliable.
- Try a video recording. A simple setup with your phone or tablet can record both their voice and facial expressions.
- Bring a notebook. Writing down their answers works well if recording makes them uncomfortable.
- Use an app. Apps like Evernote or FamilySearch Memories are able to record and store family stories.
Before recording, always ask for their permission. Explain why you want to record and how the information will be used. Most people will be happy to help, especially when they know their stories are being preserved.
How to Make Relatives Comfortable
Some people may feel shy or unsure about being recorded. Here are some tips to put them at ease:
- Start with casual conversation before diving into questions.
- Share a story about why you are interested in family history.
- Keep the setting relaxed, like sitting around the dining table.
- Avoid pressuring them. If they seem reluctant, let them choose the pace.
What to Do With the Information
Once you have recorded your relative’s stories, the next step is organizing and using the information. Here are some ideas:
- Transcribe the recordings. Write down their answers so you can search through them easily later. Make sure to include the date, family members present, etc.
- Add details to your family tree. Names, dates, and places can fill in gaps or point you to new records.
- Preserve the recording. Store digital files in multiple places, like a cloud service and an external hard drive.
- Share with the family. Create a booklet or slideshow to give to other relatives. This can bring the family closer and encourage others to share their memories too.
- Create a story collection. Compile the stories into a family history book or scrapbook. Include photos, documents, and keepsakes.
How These Conversations Fit Into Your Research
Family stories can guide your research in surprising ways. A relative might mention a town name that leads to census records or a family business that appears in directories. Their memories can also confirm relationships and timelines you have been putting together.
When adding this information to your tree, remember to document the source. Write down who shared the story, when, and where.
If you want to cite your interview notes, you could use the following format:
THEIR NAME, interview by YOUR NAME, DATE; transcript privately held by YOUR NAME, [address for private use]. THEIR NAME spoke of personal knowledge of family history events at Christmas dinner at John Doe’s house in Boston.
To learn more about source citations, check out my blog post, How To Make Genealogy Source Citations Easy.
Finally
The holidays are about connecting, and family history is a wonderful way to do that. Talking with older relatives is not only valuable for your research but also a meaningful way to honor them. Their stories deserve to be heard and preserved.
This year, take the time to ask questions, listen carefully, and record their words. You will not only gain valuable information but also create memories that will last a lifetime. And who knows? You might uncover stories you never imagined. So grab your notebook or smartphone and start a conversation. You might just find the missing piece to your family’s story.
Genealogy tip: While you’re at it, why not see if some of the relatives you’re visiting will do a DNA test?
Once you’ve talked with your family, you may want to learn more. Give me a call and set up a free 30-minute consultation. I’d love to help you fill in the gaps in your family’s story.
